#101

Just because of this one guy now the whole company is in disaster. Thank you very much and we hope that you will go and piss off while rotting yourself to death.

#100

So one of my cats died. It must have been awful for my sister since it’s her cat. I feel bad now. Should have started with something a bit more cheery after being MIA for months, right? No? Whatever. I still feel bad for writing this. I miss him now. Tiger was such a good boy. Now I can’t write some happy stuff together with this entry. Will stop till here. Bye.

#99

Dear Syahme,

i hope by now you know why is it bad to stalk people through the social network no matter how pro *ahem* you claimed yourself to be. because at the end of the day it will always ended up bad and placed you in that curling position at the end of the room; hoping that you have never consumed such information that has made you so so confused.

but of course i approve of your stalking if it means to search for someone who shares the same passion towards Harry Potter as you do. remember WWOHP or that London Studio tour? yes yes, never forget that. go get ‘em bitches!

Love,

the slightly more  rational side of Syahme.

#98

should have been really happy about this but i can’t help but feeling a little bit guilty myself. if i was the one who found about it in the first place, it would have been okay. i swear i was excited about this, but now i’m feeling a little bit sad because i am suddenly am not ready to already jumping into this. it could have been better if we were both are in this case and be even. not just me. i wish they would pick us both. i don’t want to be forever feeling guilty. they will pick you too, right? please.

#97

Dear Igotridoftwisteddiary,

after spending much time at home i realized that cats are kinda of cute but they are… CRAZY!! there was this one time when i was sleeping on the couch and i felt something squeezing in between my knee and the couch. when i opened my eyes, i saw my cat, Tiger, sitting there innocently while staring me with his cute face. so i was like, okay.. and went back to sleep. the next thing i know he was bitting my knee with all his will power three freaking times and left me with scars. what is this? so what is this i don’t even.

the other time i was sleeping on the couch (yes, yet again~) and my cat, Monyeng  jumped onto my belly to get through the window. how crazy is that thinking that i’m the human trampoline?? and as i’m writing this here she comes onto the keyboard seeking attention and just to bite me then when my hands touches her belly. i don’t understand these creatures anymore~~

also btw, Tumblr is being kinda annoying right now with its Glee live blogging. omg who freaking cares!! get a twitter account if you want to bitch about the episode. i don’t watch Glee dammit. the only reason why i follow you guys is because i love all your Harry Potter graphics but now i’m really temped to push that one button that will surely make you guys bitch about losing followers. konnichiwa bitches!~

the end.

#96

it was all about me in the end. and those people who really matters. friends who came to get me 9 in the evening just because i was craving for McD. stayed with me there till midnight while i reread the chapters in my diary. where else can i get this kind of friendship?

and also about mom allowing me to sleep on the couch in the living room every night. mom is very sweet. didn’t laugh when i told her that i want to venture in a cafe business here in Kuching. even insisting me on taking baking classes when we met a friend of her who owns a bakery shop at Giant the other day. she even let me to work outside of Kuching from now on. she said she didn’t mind anymore. she used to want me to be around after i graduated but right now she said as long as i am happy she will be there for me. i teased her saying what if i work in Abu Dhabi? she said she will come with me and i will not have to worry about food because she will cook for me when i get home. dad who was by that time slouching on a couch next to her said that he will have to come with us which makes me a little bit teary inside. dear mom, things that make me happy are things that make you happy. it is always like that since the beginning.

#95

i have insecurities of opening my Tumblr and updating this blog using this computer since it is situated in the living room. wait until the desktop in my room is connected to the internet; by then everything will go boom boom and you shall never see me leaving my room again.

#94

i’m so happy right now. i’ve graduated and will be home soon. but the most important part is i’ve moved on from all the things that have been bugging me and gained my old self back. space.. i realized it was all i need to forget everything. i’m happy to have the old Syahme. all feisty and moody but at least she got a personality. i feel very sorry of losing her for a while back but now she’s back and it is all good.

i’m happy!! Kuching, wait for me!

#93

it’s like an itching wound. i keep on scratching it while i’m asleep. i know i should have not done it but sometimes i could not help it. adding to more damage, surprise, surprise. right now at this very end i feel as miserable as i could be.

things i’ve learned about myself these past few months. i’m not good at staying by myself after 3 months. especially when things are bugging me constantly. and i always seek for solution. i can’t stand to have it hanging down my head without me knowing what the real problem is. and everything to me is either yes or no. i can’t stand grey areas. i always want things to be consistent. and i always want to fix things instead of giving them time to heal. i’m transparent. i’m bluntly honest about everything. i have words diarrhea. some of them might sound like good traits but right now i think it has done more damage than i could ever imagine.

i just want things to be right again. but something tells me that this will not work so in the end i will have to prepare for the worst. well, seen this coming anyway to which why i don’t want this at the first place. at least not till i’m back home for good. if things could have wait a little longer. if I could have wait a little longer. these all are too much for me right now. i wish i could push rewind and prevent things from happening in the first place.

all i want now is to go home. i need to go home. i’ve lost saint every minute i spend my time here.

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